Riches are in niches, so they say. “They” being random people on the internet. My niche for this website is literally just “my thoughts” and “projects I’m working on.” I don’t think I could come up with a more narrow niche than that. So hopefully this bring in the riches. In this post, I’m going to share my experience in answering the question, “Should I shave my head.”
In my experience, there were three phases of the process: Hair loss denial, hair loss masking, and embracing the hair loss.
Phase 1: Hair Loss Denial.
I started noticing more hair was collecting in the shower while I was on my mission for the LDS church. At first I thought that maybe it was just something I hadn’t paid attention to and there had always been that amount of hair from showering.
I tried to ignore it. But it was something that was in the back of my mind. It didn’t seem like my hair line was receding so I thought it was just in my mind.
But my brother would occasionally tease me for having thin hair in the back.
My mom would say that my hair was always like that because I have two cowlicks back there. It’s just the swirling and bad lighting that make it so you can see more scalp.
So I just went about my day thinking that maybe I am or maybe I am not balding.
My sister got married in 2013 or so. LDS people generally get married in an LDS temple. Part of the ceremony requires that the couple getting married change their clothing. So after the actual ceremony, there is a period where the couple is changing and everyone else exits the temple. The tradition is that everyone waits by the exit. When the couple is ready to leave, someone opens the doors, the couple comes out, and everyone cheers.
For my sister’s wedding, I was one of the people opening the doors for their glorious exit. This was all recorded. It was great.
However, when we watched the video, we got to this part and I saw some bald looking guy walking up to the temple. Then I realized it was me!
I was like, “Wait! What the heck? Is that what my hair looks like?”
My brother said, “Yep.” And of course my mom said, “It’s just bad lighting.”
Phase 2: Hair loss masking.
That video confirmed to me that there was a problem back there.
I researched online to help me decide whether I should shave my head. The internet said that blow drying would add volume and hide the thinning areas. And since I believe everything that I read online, I did that. I would try to keep my hair a little on the longer so I could blow dry it.
I also tried Rogaine for a bit. There was no way I was going to keep up that routine. For instance, your hair has to be completely dry and you have to let it dry for at least a couple hours after applying and before going to bed.
So I just mostly stuck with the blow dryer approach. In other words, I was taking the combover approach.
This is what that looked like:
The only thing redeeming quality was that I thought it kind of looked like Idaho, where I was living at the time. See:
Maybe I’m just seeing images in the clouds though. When I saw what it looked like wet, that was the last straw.
When I saw this picture, I immediately thought, “And I’m done.” I feel like that part of my hair that kind of curls down in the back looks like a dead mouse draping over a couch, or whatever it is mice drape over when they die.
You can probably tell by the fact that I’m taking pictures of the back of my head that I was pretty self-conscious about it. I didn’t want people looking at the back of my head. I thought about what my hair would look like if I went swimming, if it was raining outside, or even if I were to get too sweaty. I also went through a phase where I tried to wear more hats.
I also felt like the front of my head was falsely advertising that I had a full head of hair. I felt like if I turned around people would say, “Oh, wow! I didn’t see that coming!”
So, yeah, I had a lot of issues about it.
I told my wife that her #1 job was to tell me when my hair got to the point that I should just shave it. Kids, family life, financial issues should all take a backseat to the appearance of the back of my head.
I showed this last picture to my wife and had her inspect my head. She agreed that it was an appropriate time to see what it was like to buzz it down.
So I did it.
Phase 3: Embracing the baldness and taking control of your head.
In March 2018, I went to a barber while we were visiting family in Utah. It was barbershop in Downtown Provo. Like many people in my situation, I did baby steps. I wasn’t going for a straight shave but was going to buzz it down a bit. Sometimes you have to take these things in increments.
My visit with the barber went something like this:
Me: Hey, man, so my hair is getting pretty thin in the back and I’m thinking I should shave it, or at least buzz it.
Barber: [looks at my head] Okay, good for you, man. You’re going to love it. Most people do.
Me: I’m just kind of afraid I might have a weird shaped head or funky moles or something like that.
Barber: [Looks over my head again] Nah, you’ll look good. You’re going to think “why didn’t I do this sooner.”
He then asked me how short I wanted to go. I said, “Give me a #2 on the top and a sweet fade.”
The barber was like, “You got it, bro.”
Though we were not, in fact, brothers, that particular day we were brothers in solidarity. Just not too brotherly because I still had to pay him the full haircut fee plus tips.
I went outside and the first thing I noticed was how the cold immediately attacked my scalp. Other than that, it was a oddly serene experience. I felt like I cut off not just the hair but all of the emotional baggage that went with it. I was no longer subjected to worrying about whether I was balding or how thin my hair might look if I were to go swimming or stand out in the rain. I had taken back control.
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But in my case, it was not raining. It was just a little chilly outside of that barbershop.
I can’t find the selfie I took for a front view, but I have a view from the top.
For a while, I would still go to the barber to get a #2 with a fade. But eventually I wanted to stop paying for a barber, plus avoid the tip. I also kept thinking I should buzz my hair shorter. I therefore started buzzing my own head using a trimmer without a guard.
And for all of your hair trimming needs, there is no trimmer I recommend more than the Remington Wetech 100 Waterproof Trimmer (<- affiliate link, click it now!). Other trimmers are too expensive and will electrocute you in the shower. That’s because those manufacturers are price gouging you for a trimmer that’s not even waterproof. I’ve been using this model of trimmer for years and it does a fantastic job cutting your hair with precision. And, best of all, you don’t have to leave a tip! So get your Remington Wetech 100 Waterproof Trimmer (<- affiliate link, click it now!).
Seriously, though, these trimmers are pretty good and you can generally get one at your local target or other type store. It does seem like they dull after a few years of use, but I’ve only purchased two in the past almost ten years.
I have also tried out shaving my head with a razor a few times. The first time I did it was during peak covid and I did it out of curiosity and boredom. Here’s the result:
Shaving your head feels really cool; at least for a day. Then it just turns your head into Velcro® brand hook and loop. Completely shaving your head actually requires a lot more maintenance than buzzing your head. If I wanted to keep my head shaved I’d have to shave basically every day.
And if I had to shave my head everyday, there is no razor I would recommend more than… no, I’m just kidding. I won’t do that again. (But I for realsies I get the Gillette Sensor 3s — they’re fairly inexpensive and the last one from the package seems to last forever! Though I am interested in trying a safety razor like the King C. Gillette Safety Razor with Chrome Plated Handle <– affiliate link! I guess I did it again.)
Life after shaving your head
Every once in a while, I have people comment that it looks like I still have a good head of hair or that I shouldn’t buzz my head.
I have two thoughts about dealing with criticism you’ll get after you decide you should shave your head.
Dealing with criticism: Tip #1
I take it that whoever is saying something like this thinks that I don’t look that great with a shaved head. I guess that’s a bummer because frankly I’d prefer everyone to think I look incredible. But looks are also very subjective.
Here’s an example with taste…
I once set out to try to find a New York Style Cheesecake recipe that would make the indisputably best cheesecake in the world. I researched and tried a lot of recipes. As part of this research, I searched YouTube for the best cheesecake in New York (my theory was that the best New York Cheesecake should probably be in New York).
I found a YouTube video where these ladies were going around trying a bunch of cheesecakes in NY and running a poll. What I discovered was that no one agreed on which cheesecake was the best one. And this was from New York businesses that have been selling cheesecakes for many years. There is no consensus on which one of these well-established cheesecake makers makes the best one.
At that point in my research efforts, it dawned on me that there is no way to make a cheesecake that everyone will agree is the best, or that even everyone will like at all. After all, some people don’t even like cheesecake (but those people are dead to me, except for my friend Jon).
You’re probably thinking that this conclusion should have been obvious from the start–of course not everyone has the same taste in cheesecake!
Well, that’s my point. Hopefully you see where my analogy is going here.
Looks are the same as cheesecake in that people have different likes and preferences. Some people might think you look good and some people might think you look like a walrus (which I was told in elementary school). The point is you can’t try to please everyone. I, for one, guarantee you that if you have thinning hair, and especially if you are in hair loss denial or are hair loss masking, you will both look and feel better buzzing it down.
I’ve reached a point where I don’t particularly care whether other people like my head shaved. I’m not only comfortable with my choice of hair style, I love it. I like the way it looks and, more importantly, I like that it represents that I wrested control of my own insecurities and took charge of my destiny.
But all that being said, I actually would prefer if you also like it. So please leave a comment about how much you like it. Thanks.
Dealing with criticism: Tip #2
My second thought when people say I shouldn’t buzz my head is that the reason this person thinks my hair doesn’t look that bad is because I buzz it down.
Keeping longer thinning hair makes it look like you are in denial and failing to notice ir or that you are trying to hide it. If you are in denial or trying to hide it, I think you just project and internalize insecurity.
I know I just said this, and I’m going to sound like a sithlord speaking in absolutes, but it is a universal truth that if your hair is thinning, you will look and feel better buzzing or shaving it down. That goes for both men and women.
If you’re wondering if you should shave your head, do it!
If you are insecure about your thinning hair or find yourself asking “Should I shave my head?,” take it head on (no pun intended). Do whatever you have to do to bring yourself to buzz it down. It’s okay if you need to get support from someone (I needed my wife’s support…and the barber).
There is also a YouTube channel that is only about balding men shaving their heads for the first time. It’s called Baldcafe. I buzzed my hair down before I had heard of that channel, but my experience was very similar to the ones shared there. Hearing other experiences may buoy you up too.
I wasn’t confident about the decision when I did it. That’s why I took baby steps. There’s nothing wrong with that. Plus, if you don’t like it, you can just grow it back.
Understand that if you embrace your baldness and take control of your thinning hair, you will have done what many people cannot bring themselves to do. You acknowledged your issue and took control. You can accept that not everyone is going to like it. But those are the same people who don’t like really good cheesecake–they’re dead to me (again, except for Jon).
If you know someone who is struggling with thinning hair or might relate to my experience, please share this with them! You may help them. But more importantly, they may click on the affiliate links so I can earn a couple bucks.
