Overthinking occurs when your mind wanders off thinking about everything that can go wrong. It occurs when you think back on everything you did wrong or should have done better. It happens when your brain talks you out of taking steps in the direction you’d like to go.
I’ve written before that overthinking is your mind’s way of trying to protect you and I discussed 6 ways to overcome overthinking.
As a person who has and still does too much overthinking, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that overthinking is a mental illness. It’s more just a bad habit–a personality trait you must learn to manage.
The end result of overthinking is always fear of some negative emotion. And that fear paralyzes us. For me, the negative emotion I always want to steer clear of is embarrassment. The fear of being embarrassed by looking like a failure or looking like an idiot still makes me hesitate to do things I think I should do. I want to wait until I have everything figured out.
Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. You have to move forward despite the fact that outcomes will be unknown. You don’t know if you will win that case, make that sale, or land that job. You have to take a leap of faith.
If you relate to that, here are two passages from Lord of The Rings that help me.
“Advice is a Dangerous Gift.”
If you don’t know the Lord of the Rings, I don’t know what to tell you. Go read the books AND watch the movies (the extended edition and all of the special features) (<– affiliate links, click them now!). You need to do both. This passage is from the book The Fellowship of the Ring. It is not in the movie.
When Frodo first sets out to take the Ring out of the Shire, he is uncomfortable, unsure, and scared. As he leaves the Shire, he encounters a group of High-Elves. Elves, of course, are immortal and wise. Frodo hopes that they would know what to do and asks for counsel.
The leader of the elves responds:
“advice is a dangerous gift even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill….”
When he does give advice, it is this:
“Take such friends as are trusty and willing.”
When it comes to overthinking, what this means to me is that no matter what others tell you, you must choose which path you take. There may not be a right or wrong answer. This is freeing. You make your best guess as to what path to take and you give it your best shot. That’s the best anyone can do.
Through this blog, I’m hoping to find trusty and willing friends along the way and be one to others as well.
“Not all those who wander are lost.”
When Frodo and his hobbit friends reach the relative safety of Bree, they encounter the ranger Strider. Gandalf writes Frodo a letter concerning Strider (aka Aragorn):
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost….
In my experience, overthinking is an obstacle in the way of a goal. In my case, I’ve always wanted to create something in the world that could help people be happier. I’ve tried a lot of different things. I’ve been somewhat of a wanderer. And even though I may have quite a few misses under my belt, it does not mean that my cause is lost, that I’m out of the game, or that I am lost.
Rather, it means that my roots are being tested. The further I must dig down, the stronger my roots become.
Don’t Let Overthinking Ruin Your Tale.
Frodo ultimately prevailed in his journey, but not without scars–both physically and emotionally. And, yes, I understand that the Lord of the Rings is fiction. Yet, these truths are real. You must understand that you are the one who is responsible to choose your own path. You can consider advice from others, but you are in charge of the decisions you make.
You can also give yourself some time to wander–or experiment. If you think you should start a blog, take a course, or do something else, just try it. Take the step. There is nothing wrong with being wrong. You will learn from it and your roots will strengthen.
My unsolicited advice, which may be wrong, is to err on the side of action. Say yes to opportunities. Say no when your brain wants you to believe the worst-case scenario.
And take such friends with you as are trusty and willing.
